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Sorry about the length, but it IS entertaining, trust me. I hope this never happens again...<p>So I get a call around 7 P.M. that the S80 is not starting. Murphy's law will come into play quite a bit through this post. We begin with 2 of them.<p>1: It's not at home. It's by a gas station 10 minutes from home and 30+ minutes from me.<br>2: I just dropped towing with AAA in favor of the insurance's towing, which only covers towing in case of a collision. This is not a collision. This would not be cheap.<br>3: I just have to say, why do cars always fail when you lend them to someone?<p>With those in mind, I quickly leap into the Contour, grab my brand new jumper cables, and drive to the other side of town where the car is. When I arrive, I open the hood and suddenly realized something was missing...the battery. No, it's not stolen either. S80 owners will probably know where this is going...yeah, it's in the trunk. Seems common knowledge. After all, batteries in the trunk are so common. <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.vwvortex.com/vwbb/wink.gif" BORDER="0"><p>I used the clearly labeled jump points (Thank you Volvo) and tried countless times, but it just wasn't happening. The "click, click, click" of the starter was becoming stuck in my head. In fact, the battery was so drained that some of the warning lights failed to illuminate, and the brake light even went out as I was cranking it. A "Brake Failure" showed up on the screen. <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.vwvortex.com/zeroforum_graphics/screwy.gif" BORDER="0"> Electronics...<p>I opened the trunk and found the battery brace and box, but it was getting late and I realized that I forgot my tools anyway. The gas station is 24 hours and it was parked out of the way. I wasn't worried about theft.<p>I came back in the morning with my ratchet set and pull the brace and cover off. Simple enough. My bits fit just right, but then I came to the battery cables. None of my bits fit! My set had a very limited amount of metric sizes (Which I'm sure it is) for I've never needed them. Stupid me. <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.vortexmediagroup.com/images/banghead.gif" BORDER="0"> I did manage to get the negative cable off somehow, but the positive just wasn't doin' it. I closed the trunk (BIG MISTAKE) and left to get my crescent wrench.<p>Let's stop here for a second and see if anybody can figure out why I did the un-thinkable. Why wouldn't it open when I came back? The motor is working fine. But what does an ELECTRIC motor need? Oh yes, ELECTRICITY. And with the neg. cable off, there wasn't any to go around.<p>This was not good. I tried the key, but it wouldn't work. I must have grabbed the valet key by mistake as I rushed out the door. Or something. The lock cylinder was not in good shape so who know if the master key would work. Did this happen before and somebody broke it? Either way, I was locked out of my own trunk, and folding down the back seats wasn't possible because you have to be in the trunk to do it. Why Volvo can't put a button on top of the seats is beyond me. <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.vwvortex.com/zeroforum_graphics/screwy.gif" BORDER="0"> <p>I had to save some dignity, but it was all gone. I called the dealer and the service manager was nice enough to offer two suggestions. The first was the key. The latter was to attach the jumper cables again and see if that sends enough power to operate the trunk motor. Sure enough, it does! Score one for me. I got the positive off, and disconnected the vent hose. It was my first time to see a vent hose also. Then the battery had to come out. I swear the rear of the car raised 1/2 an inch when I pulled that beast out. I didn't realize it had built-in handles either. At least it didn't leak or explode on me. And yes, the water level was good. I couldn't believe Volvo used a maintenance type battery, but I do know how to check the electrolyte level. My girlfriend's old '86 Chevy Wagon had one of those and I hated it. Swore them off forever. No such thing as forever.<p>I Take the battery over to Autozone, who said on the phone earlier they had a battery, and when they go to check in the back, it was gone. Murphy must have been falling on the floor with laughter by now. That bastard. I call the next Autozone who does have one for sure, and I go to that store. Figures it's in the rough area of town. Good thing a Non-SVT Contour is about as desirable to a thief as a Pinto. Got the new battery and drove back to my S80. It's now around 1:30 P.M. I started this around 10:30 A.M.<p>I put the battery in the car (This one had a handle I knew how to use, but it was still heavy) and attach the cables. They went on a lot easier, but the vent hose location was a bit different. It took me a second to figure out how to get the new section of hose to fit snugly with the stock hose, but I did, and everything looked to be falling into place. But Murphy was not happy about my good fortune. He had one more trick up his sleeve. I could not get the battery cover to go back on top of the battery properly. It went back on, but it didn't seem to settle down well. Murphy wasn't gonna win this one. I moved the vent hose out of the way, and pushed it down, and after 2 minutes figuring out which direction the battery brace went on (It's almost 100 degrees by now in full sun, my mind is fried) I jammed it on and I was done. Done!<p>Turn the key, and yes the car started, and yes I hate Murphy. The pain and the agony of a simple battery change is unbelievable. So is this post. Go ahead and laugh. It's all I can do too. I'm off to get some metric bits and some sanity. God forbid I run into somebody named Murphy...
 

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I'm glad I'm not the only one who encounters stupid stuff like this from time to time. Entertaining to read though <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://www.vwvortex.com/vwbb/biggrin.gif" BORDER="0">
 

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Re: The 16 hour battery change (Majisto)

Sometimes you just do have to laugh with a guy. And be nice. Your tale was very humorous. I do really feel your pain. And know the feeling that you must have been having. I take it that you now know your Volvo more intimate (and will more so) then you did? And the same as your more mondane Fords? AHHH the wonders of EUROPEAN DESIGN huh? <IMG NAME="icon" SRC="http://********************/smile/emthup.gif" BORDER="0">
 
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